The Vital Role of Touch in a Baby’s Life

Babies need touch to thrive. In this touching episode, learn about the vital role of touch in a baby’s life and how it can help them grow and develop!

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Helen has spent more than three decades working with babies and toddlers and currently lives on the beautiful North West coast of Tasmania, in Australia. She qualified in the United Kingdom as a nursery nurse/childcare educator and has worked in centres in the UK and numerous states of Australia. Helen has always been a huge fan of holistic remedies and how they can help all ages and has spent time over the years training in areas including kinesiology and brain gym. In 2010, Helen heard about baby/infant massage for the first time and decided to train to become an instructor after seeing how it helps build a magical bond between baby and parent whilst helping babies with conditions such as colic and constipation. Helen enjoys teaching mums via her online Zoom workshops. Helen commenced her First Time Mum’s Chat podcast in early 2021 and enjoys providing mums with tips to help them in their new parenting journey. She regularly interviews mums who share their journeys and challenges as well as experts in related areas that can help. In her spare time Helen enjoys reading and the great outdoors via cycling and walking. She also enjoys getting away from technology and exploring the many delights of Tasmania.

Lacy Reason  

Hey, mamas. I’m Lacy, your lactation counselor and you’re listening to the early motherhood guide podcast, where motherhood is simply supported. Today I have the opportunity to talk with Helen Thompson. Why don’t you introduce yourself?

Helen  

Hi, Leigh. It’s pleasure being being on your podcast. I enjoyed interviewing you earlier in mind. Great to have the opportunity to be on yours. I come from a childcare background. And I’ve been in the childcare industry for over 20 years. I now teach baby massage to mums who first time moms and first time dads who have babies between the roundabout of from a newborn to to about three and yeah, and I really enjoy doing that because I’m very passionate about helping moms to bond and connect with their babies more and build up their confidence and have that wonderful connection that they have through bonding and touching their baby.

Lacy Reason  

Yeah. So what inspired you to become a certified at teaching baby massage? I think because I I’ve seen so many months in childcare coming to me and saying, Oh, I’m finding it really hard to connect with my little one. They’ve got colic. They’ve got constipation. And they’re just and mums were just so stressed as well. And I I sort of wanted to find something else that would help other than just childcare because I couldn’t do much in a sort of childcare space. So I did a bit of research went to a baby massage class and fell in love with it and short right this is this is what I this is a niche that I’m sort of fitting in I miss him and that’s what inspired me to do it because I saw so many moms in that class, you know, bonding and just just having fun and sort of interacting with other moms and communicating with each other including their babies. Yeah. I can completely understand with colicky babies it can be incredibly hard to bond with a baby. We just can’t seem to comfort them so good on you for going the extra mile to finding what can have what can help these moms. Could you describe some of these techniques that you use during a massage session for babies?

Helen  

Um, it’s basically for colic. We basically work on the tummy area because that’s where the digestive system really works. And we always go in a clockwise direction because that’s the way the bowel moves. And in order to release all that crap when in all the bubbles that are in there, when you when they’ve got colic, constipation if you go in a clockwise direction, you’re actually pushing it out of the bowel. That makes sense. And I mean I remember get I’ve had classes where moms have done that and the baby sort of instantly, you know, soiled the nappy, which is great. You know that Yeah. So it could that’s how it helps by just massaging in a clockwise direction to release all that toxins and all the all the gunk inside the tummy. And that’s and we also do a bit of paddling by going paddling data bit like if you’re scooping the sand you go down and coming in that helps to release all the bubbles and stuff as well and it also helps relax the abdomen as well which is what which is what you want to do. Yeah, so yeah, and I teach honored. I don’t I’d love to method, my own methods, your babies, but that’s all part of the experience for the mother. So I actually always demonstrate on the door. I don’t actually massage to babies. Because that’s that’s the mother and father’s job to get connect, connect, receive babies and have that lovely communication. So yeah,

Lacy Reason  

yeah. But that helps having you there to like guide them through the whole process. So while they’re doing it, yeah. Experience. So in your experience, what are some of the benefits that baby massage can bring new parents and infants?

Helen  

That’s a very good question. It has a lot of benefits. Not only does it help with colic and constipation, but it also helps with that, that I was talking about the touch and the communication because you’re communicating with your baby and you’re touching a baby and your babies thrive on touch. Babies love to be touched and they love to communicate with you. It also helps us body awareness. It helps us hand eye coordination. It helps to build the immune system and it helps his digestion and the end it also helps with releasing or as I said all that trap wind. And one of the benefits that I’d love to talk about is sleep because it does actually help I’m not saying instantly your baby will get a CPAP massage and I think that I’d love to say that but it does improve sleep if you have it if you set up a sort of routine. Before it was your baby’s asleep. You know when you’re having your routine it really helps improve their sleep it helps improve the quality of their sleep as well. They sleep more silently because they’re more relaxed and they’re more contented and you’ve released all that lovely oxytocin.

Lacy Reason  

Yeah. So yeah, I love that. I mean, I would sleep amazing if someone gave me a massage every night.

Helen  

Yeah, does help. It’s just so nice. I mean, it’s Yeah, I mean, people always say to me and other thing that people were said to me, but if you massage if I massage my baby before sleep, you know they are be doing it. They’ll be doing it too rough and they won’t like it. And that’s not true because babies love babies love to me. You’ve got to be firm, when you’re massaging them as well. I mean that’s one of the things too.

Lacy Reason  

Okay, how do you know if there’s something too firm or not firm enough? How do you find that balance?

Helen  

Well, your baby will tell you. Your baby will let you know if you’re going to firm because they’ll you know they’ll quit you know, like when you have a mess. If they’re if they’re messy or is pressing too hard, you you sort of fit it and you sort of go out but it was the baby they see their face printing or they might cry a little bit. That’s probably being too firm and also, they I mean, if it’s too if you’re doing it to feathery and you know that’s to know you know when a baby’s finding me ticklish. Yeah, you know use Yeah, but one thing to note if they are crying, it could it could be also because they actually don’t want to be massaged anymore that they’ve had enough and it’s the autonomy and the respect is so important, as well. So if your baby’s not enjoying it, or if they’re crying for any reason, just stop and communicate with them and talk to them and try again and they’re still crying. That’s it You have it’s really important to respect your baby’s wishes because after all, it is baby lead.

Lacy Reason  

Yeah, yeah, I tried baby massage with my first and he laughed at the entire time. And I was singing I must have been doing it too gentle because he just giggled the whole time. Like this is not relaxing. I’ve been doing this. Yes. Yeah, he was he’s always such a happy kid and he was always a happy baby. So why do you think touch is so important for your baby?

Helen  

Baby strive, a lot of touch. They love to be touched and they love to be communicated with and it’s that it’s that it’s that bond that you’re having with your baby. It’s that special, magical bond that you’re having with your baby as well. And you’ll help them to develop when you’re touching them and communicating with them. You’re helping them to communicate with you, you’re helping your social skills. They’re helping your hand eye coordination. You’re just if you’re combining all those things, and you’re communicating with them. And talking to them which I love. As I said the most important thing is that they thrive. They really thrive on touch. I mean a lot of people say that babies don’t like to be touched dearly like to be you know, but they they love it. And then as I said your your your baby, your first all the way through. So he probably really loves being to touch them. And love that connection. It’s a skin to skin with you as well. That they that they like to meet. Because as you’re as you’re talking to them and communicating with them, they’ve got that skin to skin feeling and they’re feeding you and they’re smelling you and then seeing you and if they’ve got eye contact with you. So it’s all those things combined together.

Lacy Reason  

Do you think are you saying they are saying that you communicate what you’re doing throughout the whole massage or is that just talking to your baby?

Helen  

What do you do both? Yeah. I mean, I when I do my classes, so I’ve always I always incorporate songs and singing as well. But yes, you you tell your baby exactly what you’re doing. I mean, I might say right, I’m just gonna massage your they’ve now or I’m gonna massage your foot and you’re, you’re when you’re communicating with them, and that’s also the sort of importance of the touch because you’re telling them where you’re touching and they’re, they’re learning that autonomy, they’re learning the positive approaches of touch, and you know, they don’t want it. That’s that’s where I was saying before if they don’t want it, it’s important to stop because you need a teaching that then a positive form of touches. Well. You know, the touch is nice, but if you don’t want to be touched, you give them that respect. So I’m always telling them what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. So that they know they know that they’ve been loved. They know that they’re being cared for and they know that you’re you’re not going to do anything. It’s going to help them as well.

Lacy Reason  

Yeah. Yeah, that’s such a great skill to have and start as a little kid, just knowing baby all the way to toddler phase, or just hey, I don’t want to be touched right now. And you know, respecting that.

Helen  

That’s totally fine. Because sometimes I always say that I need massage up to about sort of cooling. Not saying that you can’t message it when they’re toddlers because you can but starting young they get used to it and then when they get to toddler stage it all they want to do is to to go and have fun. And sometimes they might you know get it if they’ve done it if you’ve done it when you when they’re a baby, they might get the little you know, little massage blanket out and you highlight an idea and so much more to the message night because they sort of know they’ve had it before. So they know they know what to expect. But then if you ask them they want a message at that age. You might say now I want to go play.

Lacy Reason  

Yeah. That’s so true. I can I can see my four year old absolutely loving this, to be honest. Even though he’s not a toddler anymore. He would absolutely love that. So how do you feel how do you ensure that these parents feel comfortable and confident performing the babies massaged with their children

Helen  

because we you asked when you do always ask your baby’s permission. And I as I said to you, I demonstrate on a doll. Yeah. And I sort of watch what the parents are doing. And if I feel they’re not the sort of strokes not quite right. I wouldn’t tell them it’s wrong, but I just gently sort of correct them. And say, you know, just put a bit more pressure or just doing more a bit more gently and I point them in the right direction of which way to go. If they for instance, if they were going anti clockwise instead of clockwise, I gently I mean, not that not that there’s anything wrong with going anti clockwise. But the only reason with why I would correct him on that is because it wouldn’t it wouldn’t be doing anything to help the baby because they’re not pushing anything out that they’re just going I mean it would be great for the baby but they’re not they’re not pushing over or they’re sort of trapped when that’s that’s the key to go clockwise because it goes in the direction of the boughs. Yeah. Yeah. So just by just by, you know, because parents know their babies. I mean, you know, you know your own baby, you know, your own child. And you know, you know, sort of what pressure they like Yeah, so just by sort of watching them into this, guiding them and just gently sort of showing them the strokes and seeing how they go and if they have any questions, I’d always sort of be open to hearing the question so I can help them a little bit better.

Lacy Reason  

Yeah, I see. I think that would be super beneficial. Because I remember watching it just on a video online, and just feeling like I had no idea what I was doing. And so I could see having that guidance and having the feedback would be really helpful.

Helen  

Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to do in my Zoom classes. I tried to I go through each session. I have sort of three different sessions. And I go through each you know, each part of the massage and then I sort of say to them, right, before I go on to the next one, you know, have you got any questions because I demonstrate first and then I’ll give them the space to do it and I’ll sort of ask them if they have any questions you know, before I go on to the next part of the message so that they’ll sort of learning the same time. And I give them I have three sessions and I give them each time in those sessions to practice at home. So when they come back to the second one, then their pocket they might have questions saying, Oh, I tried this. And, you know, I wasn’t sure I was doing it. Right. How do I do that? And I’d sort of go through that again before I start the next one, if that makes sense. Yeah,

Lacy Reason  

for sure. So do you think that the baby massage should be practiced on a regular basis or is there a time torn? It’s only necessary to do this?

Helen  

I think it really depends on the baby but the best time to do massage. Have you ever heard of a quiet alert state with the baby? What is it? The quiet alert status when your baby has just you know, just woken up and they’re active, and they’re ready to play and they’re ready to communicate with you. Yeah, that’s the best time to do it. If you if you miss that, as they get to the sort of sleepy drowsy stage, you’re more likely to be fidgety. They’re more likely to say hi, no, I just wanted to go to sleep. I don’t want this. So it’s getting into that because of the quieter let’s take weather just sort of nice and attentive. And they’re smiling at you and they’re communicating with you and saying, oh, you know, I’d like to I’d like to be touched or I’d like to talk to you can you can you give me a method because I always ask the baby for permission as well. So that the quiet alert status is it’s the best time to message and depending on how old the baby is, I wouldn’t mess that straight after but I mean, if they’re if they newborns are up to the age of four months, I probably wouldn’t let that straight after a bus because babies get over. Sometimes they get overstimulated and you don’t want to over stimulate them because you wanted to be an enjoyable experience. You don’t want to because they’re overstimulated again. They may not want it. So I just sort of wait through maybe about 20 minutes or half 20 minutes after a bust the other time not to massage and with after refeed as well. Because if they if they’ve just been fed, they’re not you know, they’re just not going to want you use particularly their tummy area. They’re not gonna want you to massage your tummy. Because it’ll just, you know, make make, you know, have you not, you’re not going to say screw you up. But yeah, it’s not a good idea to do after they’re just after they’ve been fed. They need time to have that little time is to digest that seed.

Lacy Reason  

Totally makes sense. Those are some really good tips. And you were saying that there are certain times maybe if they’re a little bit more fussy, like their problems. Maybe they’re a little more gassy and then you also spoke earlier about sinus right if they had any congestion and how does that help with the congestion?

Helen  

Because you’re well when you’re massaging certain areas that that we met her nose, as well. You’re actually releasing all that mucus that’s in there in the nose and you’re actually releasing all that and helping that to dissipate and come out you’re actually sort of helping them to release all that is, you know, and if you sort of map out certain areas that you’re sort of helping to stimulate all that you’re warming that you’re warming them up as well, which helps too because you know, when you put Vicks Vapor when you’re when you’re an adult, and you’ve got a cold if you put the Vapor Rub on you, you’re actually you know, putting a bit of heat in there and that’s sort of what you’re doing when you’re massaging their back or their chest. You’re actually sort of helping putting a bit of heating air and helping it author release and clear. Yeah. So yeah, that’s why it sort of helps with congestion as well, because yeah,

Lacy Reason  

that sounds like a really helpful tool. For sure.

Helen  

Yeah, it’s great. I mean, congestion is great for cold sniffly as well. Yeah, it helps as well.

Lacy Reason  

Well, is there anything that you would like to share else with our with our mamas?

Helen  

I just like to say give baby massage, you can try and just, you know, you don’t have to you don’t have to massage or you know, for very long just sort of start by massaging little legs and massaging their feet and then building it up because when they’re when a baby’s newborn they’re going to take it it’s a bit of time to get used to it. So just take your time. Just do it sort of 10 minutes at a time and have that bonding connection with them. Yeah, and then and then at the you know, when they get when they get a bit more used to it, you can add a little bit and but just have fun and communicate with your baby is my main tip that i i would say to moms, and allow yourself to have that bond with them and allow yourself to have that magical experience just you and your baby you smell them. It’s lovely, it is nice

Lacy Reason  

and I cannot stop smiling. You’re explaining it because I just find that just adorable. Anyway, where else can where can we find you?

Helen  

I have a website called my baby massage.net I also have an Instagram handles well called baby massage challenge. But if you if you go to my baby massage.net forward slash me you’ll get all that information. You’ll find all the stuff that I offer. There’s a list of all the things that I offer on that on that link. So that’s the easiest place to find me.

Lacy Reason  

Okay. Well, thank you so much for joining us today. It’s a pleasure.

Helen  

I hope I encouraged your mom with your audience to give it a try and to sort of see what happens and if they have any questions. I’m always sort of open to hearing from them on Instagram or even on my face on my baby massage page.

Lacy Reason  

Yeah, for sure. Well, thank you. I’m sure that they would love to try this out. I mean, I really enjoyed trying it on my babies. And now I’m going to dive in deeper and try to get in with all of my kids.  All right. Well, thank you guys so much for listening and I will see you next week on early motherhood guide podcast. 

About the author

Lacy Reason is a highly experienced and compassionate lactation counselor, who has dedicated her career to educating and supporting new mothers on their breastfeeding journey.